perhaps

I was lacking in power to stare or else she wasn't away..

I was short of judgement or else she wasn't away.

I engaged in continuous struggle but heart had no zeal..

I wasn't friendly to myself or else she wasn't away.

It was all against of wisdom that I failed to practice humbleness..

I was unaware of manners or else she wasn't away.

I had great writing skills but was shy of conversation..

I lacked skills of initiations or else she wasn't away.

I had all the skills then what was missing that I failed to make her mine?

Perhaps it wasn't my fate in favor or else she wasn't away.